Planted. Not buried...
- Nina B Williams
- 2 hours ago
- 7 min read
HEY THERE and Welcome to the April Edition!!!
What Woman or Women did you or plan to honor and celebrate in March? As we approach the Pre- Bloom Month (April), how are you doing?
Me... I left February feeling drained. Very empty and heavy... I dragged myself into March knowing my dear fur baby Max was not going to make it much longer...
In the last two weeks, it was just me, Max, and God more than ever before... It was so hard. It was scary. So many fears and worries. My anxiety every day was through the roof. But I held to my faith and cared for Max and myself as best as I could. 🐾💔
He went to doggie heaven on March 4th. He will be able to zoom, relax in the sun, eat chicken, and play with an unlimited supply of squeak toys all day. My heart tells me that my mom was so happy to see his cute face. He was my dog but she surely loved him like he was hers. They are together again...
For almost 15 years, I was blessed to give Max the BEST life. He was loved and spoiled by so many. I'm grateful to have been able to say goodbye to him and not have him go in pain or alone. Thank you to my ex-boyfriend and one of my cousins for being there for Max in his final moments. I would not have been able to do it alone. Thank you. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to my mom. I thank God for giving me that with Max.
He will be missed. 🥀
And in the same season of Max's health failing, the relationship I was in ended... Alexa play, No Love by Summer Walker... 😅
Haha, no, but seriously, after I care for my heart regarding Max, I will be out and dating again. My family and friends are in support of whatever is a good and healthy addition to my life. Even a colleague has asked if they could introduce me to someone.
It's time I move on... ❤️🩹
With what I've witnessed and experienced in the past few years, I'm just going to enjoy the good times in dating for when it's good... But thee moment the love bombing wears off, or I peep the lack of intention, baby, I'm gone 😅
I am still excited about love overall. I found that I enjoy being soft with a man, catering to and getting pretty for someone... Even though I feel the impact of so much pain recently shifted in my heart, I also still look forward to my next relationship. Until then, prayers to the men trying to date me... lol No I'm not going to terrorise anyone but I won't stay in or entertain spaces where the energy or effort isn't reciprocal. ✌🏽
And before anybody tries to come at me, lol, yes, in the last blog I said we needed to love our black men more, and I still stand by that, but I also said be selective... Not all are ready. I will again at some point. Right now, it's time for me. 🤌🏾
Dear God in this season, keep me safe mentally, emotionally, financially and physically. Help me be clear of who is who...🙏🏾 1 John 4:1
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Perspective
It's so easy to look at the negative and even sit in the dark but what if you got up to turn on the light? Opened the curtains to let the sun into your mind? How much better could things be for you? Sure, it will take work to get moving, but the reward on the other side of working on having a better mindset is so worth it.
Let's look at my life, for example... My last therapy session for 2025 rocked me so hard. I was asked what the story of my birthday was telling me... Why did I dread it this year? I was not expecting the question or the emotions that followed... What felt like forever, I snot-bubble cried😭 and struggled to speak... I was already in the depths of seasonal depression. A month prior, I learned Max was dying, the relationship I was fighting for ended, and then that question... I was the type of person who planned my birthday months in advance. Not this time. In that space, I had nothing to look forward to... At least that's what I thought.
When I finally spoke, everything I mentioned made me cry harder. I'm over 40, unmarried, single, no children, my fur baby was leaving me, my ex wasn't invested in us anymore. I'm still trying to find my way in life. The place I moved to, I thought, was going to be a new beginning for me and my ex, I was wrong. The people at work don't see my value, and so on... It simply hurt to say out loud. I felt lost. 😶🌫️ I asked my therapist, what exactly should I be celebrating...
I felt defeated... but on the other side of 2026, when I wrote the letter to the woman I am becoming back in January, a few things about my future self was that she stayed close to God, had gotten back to having a more positive mindset, used the tools created to help others (the weekly gratitude and affirming prompts are good reminders for me) and that she would use the guidance from therapy by reframing thoughts.
The very same thoughts I held in December now look different. I told myself... Self, you don't have any baby daddy headaches. You've been the best fur mom ever to Max Bailey. And yeah, you're over 40 BUT STILL FINE AND VERY MUCH A GREAT CATCH 😎. Date them all... You've finally started to live in your place the way you want to, it's cute! And NOTHING is locking you down to one place. Move around as much as you like! Try so many new things and places! YOU BETTER GET OUTSIDE and LIVE! 🥳
See the difference?
The weight of life and grief is heavy af, but I've also been learning to see things for what they are instead of holding to what my heart wanted things to be. I'm putting down what isn’t mine or lack control over, and repositioning what belongs to me so things aren't too much.
I do desire a healthy, balanced partnership/marriage, children (if GOD sees fit), a soft place to land in my career, and a forever home BUT... I will no longer worry about it or overthink when or if it will happen.
Life will be just fine. I will LIVE with a heart of JOY with where HE has me now in this space. In this moment.
I gave so much of myself away. From 13, my life and movements belonged to others, their opinions, thoughts, and needs. My being forward-focused doesn't mean I don't love, care about, or miss Max and others. It's simply time for me to release fears and move on.
I've asked myself, what will life look like if I love, encourage, stand up for, and focus on all the things for myself the way I did when putting others first? I can't tell the future. I know it doesn't scare me anymore. What if it all works out??? I'm excited to see, and I will keep my Mommy and Max always in my heart along the way...
I'm not just turning a page. I'm opening a completely new book. Chapter one... This time it's all for Me...
In the meantime...
In a previous blog, I shared that I would complete the Dating Inventory Edition from a completely different lens. I learned so much more about myself and what I need from partnership and love.
I did start some of the prompts, so when ready, I'll be ready...
One of the prompts is about red flags/boundaries not to cross/deal breakers...🚫
Here are a few of mine:
too many friends of the opposite sex
lack reciprocity
emotional abuse and/or disconnect
bread crumbing
goal post movers
ego driven
projection or blame shifting
Another prompt from the Dating Inventory Edition is about the ABC's of the type of Man I am open to sitting down for...
The full list is on my YouTube, but here are a few characteristics and things I need below:
A: accountable, affirming
B: brave (about love)
C: capacity, consistent, considerate
D: dependable
E: effort, experience, emotionally safe
F: faithful
And because working on myself will continue... From the Self*ish Virtual Edition, there is a prompt for the ABC's of what I will offer myself more of going forward:
Also, the full list is on my YouTube.
A: accountable, affirming
B: balance
C: confidence
D: detailed, discipline
E: energized
F: first, focused
Check out the videos and the editions for yourself. Share your thoughts. 🤎
💃🏾🕺Things to Do: April
If an effort to find a good balance between being out living, staying in to recharge, without breaking the bank, I wanted to share a few Budget-Friendly things you can experience this April for $50 or under:
Grab your snacks and watch some of your favorite Feel-Good Movie Marathons at home. Eat Pray Love is on my Top 5
Check out Pinterest or TikTok for a new recipe to cook yourself. You know you're going to post it. LOL Tag and Share with me how it went.
Get offline and out of text. Go visit with a few of your loved ones
Visit a library or bookstore for a new read
Check out the SELF*ISH program here on the website.
Use Code: PLANTED for 50% off, expires April 30, 2026, 11:59 p.m.
Peek at Next Month: 🧐
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. There will be things to do in May, of course, my life recap, and more.
I'm not sure how to describe this edition; it was hard to type some of it, but I am overall okay. My new baby cousin was born and I am so excited to go visit with her and my family.
God has a reason for everything. I am walking out of March with my head held high. I did my best in every situation I was placed in. I will go into April focusing on the good things to come. I'm ready for what's next.
I pray you found value in something shared. And that it inspires you to keep going through anything you may be moving through. Everything will be ok. 🤎
Feel free to drop love below, email, or chat here if subscribed to the website. I welcome positivity and definitely need the prayers and love in this season.
Help me expand the reach of the 52 Week Experience by simply sharing this blog or the series in general. Thank you!
Until Next Time...
NinaB
xoxo
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