Break Ups, Coping, and Wins Oh my...

HEY THERE! This is the May Edition!!!

How was April for you? Has the pollen been beating the brakes off of you as it has been for so many others?🤧 The weather has been extremely bipolar here in the DMV, but hopefully, with May coming in, the weather will pick a seat and stay nice for a second.

If you read the previous blog, you know where my heart had been...

April allowed me to reset. I was intentional about coping with grief...

I went on my first real hike. That thing was no joke. 4 miles on a warm day in the woods with hills... 🥵My body was NOT ok. I will go again. LOL I've been out to brunch. Caught up with people I know in my area. I've been booking large events and prepping for the spring tee release for the book brand too. I'm going where good plans are for me. 🥰

I also locked back into studying for my Project Management Certification. Max's passing knocked my thought process completely out of whack. I failed the first time I took the exam. I gave myself grace because I knew damn well I shouldn't have sat for the exam in the mental space I was in.

But, I did what I said I was going to do, walked into April with my head up. I got back to work. I set a new exam date and got back to studying. I PASSED! 🎊

I never really celebrate my wins or talk about myself.

Can I take a minute to talk my ish?

Ok Cool. Thank ya!

I've always had a thing for planning since I was 19. For years, I was, and many times still, the person to "put things together". In 2010, I officially registered and ran a hospitality business, successfully grew and ran it full-time through 2020.

In that, I taught bartending and alcohol awareness, put almost 100 people to work, maintained a steady client list of new and many repeat clients, advised others on their business goals, ran a few bars, did events in a number of states, and more.

I decided to go part-time in business and back into corporate America in 2022 when the country fully opened back up. COVID did a number on business, and me being in the house...

Naturally, I operate well in chaos, see the bigger picture, stay ready with ideas and concepts, connect dots on the fly, and I hold

• an Event Specialist Certification from CCBC

• a Corporate Event Planner Certification from CCBC

• a Hybrid and Virtual Event Director Certification

• a Project Leadership Certification from eCornell

• and now my Project Manager Certification from PMI.

I am now a PMP holder. Those who know, know. I'm so excited for me. 🙌🏽🎉

FINALLY, I feel like my work is about to start really paying off... I used to feel some kind of way about not having a college degree, but I have done a lot. I'm so proud of myself.

I still love to bartend from time to time for a select few clients, but it's time for me to move to the next phase in my career. I shared in the last blog that I'm not operating in "the next chapter." I'm starting a new book, and I cannot wait to see how much further I can grow with this new addition.

Alexa Play Flippa T Affirmations...

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Him...

Damn shame I left all my hoes only to find out in the end, he was a hoe!! LOL I'm joking. LOL! He would get me if he ever saw this! He knows I say anything. LOL

But for real...

Not all relationships end due to cheating, abuse, or something messy. Some couples simply hit a rough patch and don't know how to get out of it. It's what happened with us.

Bad times aside and overall... He was so good to me. Encouraging, accepting, loving, supportive... We did everything together. He and I could see something, look at each other, break out into laughter, knowing exactly what the other was laughing at. We cooked, planned trips, dates, and movie nights (in person and over the phone) together. We used to talk about everything all the time. I could go on about how the good things we shared... He was becoming my very best friend.

Hey Alexa, Play Beyonce, Flaws and All...

One day, He asked to see me naked... and not just in the physical way. I can't remember his exact words, but he asked how he could really love me on a deeper level if I wouldn't show myself fully to him.... He created a space for me to be softer than I had created for myself and had proven to me I was safe, so I did it. Wasn't easy... at all... but... I did it. I completely opened up.

In my single space, I only saw myself from my own view. Opening myself up in front of someone who loved me in every way exposed how goofy, silly, and free I can be. How mushy and lovable I wanted to be, but... also negative things. Red flags, trauma, and insecurities.

There's a prompt in the Dating Inventory asking users to be honest about their own red flags. I thought I knew all mine. Eh... I didn't.

He didn't just see me; I saw myself in a way I didn't expect. I didn't like it. I needed it. Looking at myself allowed me to self-check, learn accountability in a way that matters for others, and do the work to become a better version of myself for me and those I love.

He doesn't believe it when I tell him, but his being time enough for me was something I loved about him.

I always have to be in charge of everything. I have to figure out so much on my own. Yeah, I really wanted and needed someone who wasn't afraid to speak up to me. My tail just wasn't ready for it when it presented itself. Not being used to it caused issues because wtf was he talking to telling me about myself? LOL

Side bar: I was so removed from feelings, I loss a parent and another time was in a car crash, both situations, I still found a way around "feelings" and focused on business. I was a robot. Living on auto pilot. I never really let anyone tell me anything but I knew I wanted it.

Ridiculous because I wanted it right? Prayed for it even and pushed back at it. lol Dummy.🤦🏽‍♀️ I can laugh now. I know I took him through it. I was definitely an amusement park of flags! I've grown a lot. 🙏🏾

It took a while, but I still thank God for pulling me by my lil edges to kill my ego in order to see his intentions at the time behind calling me out on my mess. It was never from a malicious place. And He didn't NEED anything from me like some before, who let me walk around how I had been being selfish, lacking affection, at times mean, and not making room for someone to show me I didn't have to do it all on my own. He loved me enough to call me on my bullshit and support me so I can grow, said a lot to me.

Was our relationship perfect? No, but it was real, and it was ours.

I could never hate him. My lord, I tried at first. I would be lying if I said I didn't. This man is a Taurus... My GAWD! Stubborn and petty to the highest level lol Whew Chillle! LOL. 👀 Just joking.

At the end of the day, my ex will piss me off again, I'm certain to also get on his nerves, we might keep building the new version of what we have and/or try love between us again, we might cut ties completely and end up in other love stories, I don't know what will happen next for me.

I only know these things: one, I can't take away the positive impact he had on my life, and two, I thank God for allowing him to bless my heart in the good ways he did. ❤️

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Staying Safe while Dating

Although I am still in a space to date and focus on myself, dating can be scary and dangerous. It doesn't hurt to prepare and have certain conversations, no matter what dating season someone is in...

Below are a few things I've found helpful when I've dated before and will use when I date going forward...

Spiritually:

• some will use God or spirituality to gain trust, but not live, speak and/or be of God. pay attention to how a person consistently shows up in life, treat you and others.

Mentally:

• set boundaries and stand on them

• be and remain Yourself

• let them SHOW you what they want. Pay attention to patterns not words

• be in the moment

• date them all until one speaks up and displays that they want and can handle exclusivity

Emotionally:

• Dont stay if they've made it clear that its over for them

• Invest in toys/love yourself

• know the difference between when to fight for love and when to move on

• no expectations

Financially:

• don't share your personal financials or resources before in a relationship

Physically:

• let someone know where you are and who you are with. Sure, you're grown. Don't be foolish.

• remove yourself in spaces where anger triggers breaking things, destruction to property, trying to intimidate you when in disagreement, "play fighting"

Sexually:

• have your own condoms

• take your time

• be honest about what you are/aren't into or okay with

What are other ways people can stay safe while dating these days?

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Monthly Mantra

I don't have to chase anything for me. Everything for me is already mine. I am responsible for how I show up in the world. I attract greatness, love and all the beautiful things life has to offer me.

What's your mantra for the month?

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💃🏾🕺Things to Do: may

If an effort to find a good balance between being out living, staying in to recharge, without breaking the bank, I wanted to share a few Budget-Friendly things you can experience this April for $50 or under:

• Go for a hike

• Go to a food festival

• Play hookie from work/school/life and take care of yourself

• Even if you don't drink wine, visit a local vineyard and enjoy the views and weather

• Check out the 52 Weeks for Me Edition here on the website.

  • Use Code: 4ME for 50% off, expires May 31, 2026, 11:59 p.m.

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Peek at Next Month: 🧐

June is Men's Health Awareness and Pride Month. There will be things to do in June, of course, my life recap for whatever adventures I go on with the weather warming up, and more.

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We can have all the plans we want, and life will still do whatever it chooses. Find a way to enjoy the ride as best as you can.

I pray you found value in something shared. And that it inspires you to keep going through anything you may be moving through. 🤎

Feel free to drop love below, email, or chat here if subscribed to the website. I welcome positivity and definitely need the prayers and love, especially in this season.

Help me expand the reach of the 52 Week Experience by simply sharing this blog or the series in general. Thank you!

Until Next Time...

NinaB

xoxo

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