Turns out, I was the assignment!
Updated: 2 days ago
Hey There!
How are you doing? The weather changed on us fast, didn't it?!?!
I looked up and lost an entire year. Time is flying by. I hope you are making good use of what you have available. We don't get it back. Please use it wisely.
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How am I? If you've been on this journey with me, you can see how heavy the top of the year was for me. There were so many ups and downs.
I have a solid partnership with God. I do what he thinks is best, and HE keeps me covered. I end up experiencing how things work in my favor when I listen to HIM.
I can't really put into words how much better I am. I just know I am good and that each day is a bit better than the last. An off day isn't like it used to be at all, nor does it last long.
Proof of Work.
I recently learned of a deep betrayal from someone I trusted. They gaslit, ran from accountability, and more than likely will never apologize for what they took from me. The stress caused robbed me of more than they think or know... Just a few months ago, I would have been devastated. I would have replayed everything over and over and over and over. I would have needed to talk about it in the moment and would have beaten myself up about an issue I didn't create.
Today, that shit bounced right off me. I had already known part of the truth for a while; everything could have been different had they been honest. Maybe the same honesty they ask others for isn't in them... But who they are internally has nothing to do with me- I didn't break them, and even though they did me dirty and ran from responsibility, I'm not the one who loses in the situation. No conversations on it or dramatics needed from me.
For the first time, I understand the importance of forgiveness without closure. The letters I wrote in January were cool, but this is truly what it's about. I couldn't have planned this. It was as if I was free from a trance. I feel so much lighter. Haven't cried. Didn't obsess over it. I kindly sent my disappointment, final feelings, then kept it pushing. In 40-plus years, I would hold a grudge like a baby to a cheese puff and leave forgiveness between the offender and God, but in this, I genuinely forgive them. I didn't overthink it; I'm not looking for revenge, and I don't have any bitterness or hate towards them... Forgiving took a weight off me. It had been holding me down for over a year. Deuteronomy 32:35
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My life now has a healthy balance between work, business, traveling, working out, me time, and dating. I don't feel overwhelmed and get a lot more done these days.
I don't remember the last time I went to the grocery store to stock up. I've been back to filling up the fridge, the regular freezer, and breaking down proteins into convenient portions just for me to fill the deep freezer.
I've been washing, drying, folding, and... (and this is the biggest AND ever!) And actually, put everything away.
I work with my brain to get things done, instead of against it. I'm working to adjust sugar intake. Managing my sleep habits, hormones, and stress matters. Turning off many notifications has worked wonderfully for my focus! Adulting has been easy again.
I make time for dating on my time if I find it to be worth my time. I see men differently now. It's only 3 things most men have to offer me, and all 3 I can do on my own just fine these days. I've opened the door to have a few men in my life for each of those 3 things when I want to call on someone. No, I will not list them here. LOL. Just know that I am just fine with things just as they are unless one shows up with all of the 3 things I see them for...
I didn't have to take my solo trip to Canada. I wanted to. I needed to. I have been enjoying my own company very much. The drive was beautiful. The hotel was everything I wanted, with a jacuzzi and a view of both the NY and Canadian sides of Niagara Falls. Because I'm the realist nig in my life, I date and romance myself well. I took myself to dinner, on my reservation, when asked if celebrating anything, I typed Yes. I'm celebrating finding myself. They gave me free cake. I even got to see the fireworks that I've been missing.
Circling back to dating, it's funny because all of a sudden, everyone wanted to talk on the phone, not text as I normally do. LOL. We all know what that was about. It was a solo trip. But even if it wasn't, I am single. LOL
ADHD Superpowers
Last month I opened up about some of how life was for me as a child and even some of life as an undiagnosed, confused, and often misunderstood black woman... Check out the blog if you haven't already: September Blog
I've been doing the work to find a good balance between working with my brain and not feeling overwhelmed.
I'm more in tune with who I am now. Several characteristics come with ADHD. Not everyone lives with the same traits or struggles with all of them throughout life. The traits I can't work to my benefit, I work on to improve. For the quirks I can operate to my advantage, I work to my advantage...
Some of my favorite quirks I work in my favor are:
Pattern recognition. I notice everything. When I say something is off, I've seen the pattern change for a while, waited to be sure it was different before I bring it up. Now it's a safety tool for me in all relationships. 1 conversation about the shift. NO changes? I'm getting out of the way.
Strong intuition. Before I have the proof... just know that I know. This is another tool to keep me emotionally and mentally safe. I won't go against it again.
The visual reminders keep me very organized. It's to the benefit of business, work, and my personal life.
I thrive in chaos and the calmest there. It works very well in program and event management, where the risk can be high.
Hyperfocusing. At times, it can be hard for me to get going, but when I do, I lock in and don't stop until done. Instead of putting the energy on things that don't serve me, I hyperfocus on myself and my needs (spiritually, financially, physically, socially, mentally), my business growth, and career direction.
My creativity... I stay outside the box. I quickly think of and connect ideas for most things on the spot. It's called Rapid Idea Generation. I now see how valuable this is, and I no longer share it if not asked or share it with just anyone.
Bouncing back... Gift and curse. It's not a badge of honor for me to always have to be "strong". I would not mind if God pulled me from the strongest soldiers list because I'm tf tired, my guy. lol Chill on me in 2027. Please and thank you. This last time of having to bounce back was the worst. I was completely outside of myself and took longer than normal, but the work that was done in the time will make it so I won't have to bounce back from much again.
I also shared in the Planted Not Buried Blog about perspective... I am seeing the results of the work I started then. Choosing to see things as they are may not be easy, but it doesn't mean you have to stay with the negatives.
Note to Self: Nothing is wasted. Use everything to your benefit.
Things to Do this Fall
It feels more organic when I hop on here and just type to you all, but I have missed sharing a few things to do in each blog. After all, the 52 Week Experience started as an outside-the-box activities journal.
So here are a few things to get to this fall. The weather has cooled off, but there's still time to get outdoors before the winter if you like.
Join the Coloring Lounge on Facebook: Join Here
Visit a pumpkin patch
Go apple picking
Host or attend a bonfire and/or potluck
Join a Walk for a Cause and/or volunteer for a cause
Binge-watch a series
Write letters of gratitude
Build a winter survival plan (No longer claiming seasonal depression)
Of course- get coloring books and journals: Shop
Create a mini indoor fitness routine
Adjust work hours if able to see the sun before or after work. The sun rising later and setting early can be draining. Some of us go to work in the dark and come home in it.
Find and prepay for outings (solo or with others). Gives something to look forward to. We aren't wasting money, so you have to go.
How's your sofa blanket and pillow? Upgrade if needed
Stock up on hair, face, and body moisturizers.
And because Healed Women and Men Taste Better, grab a sweatshirt to cuddle up in or as a staple item before they are gone. See them here
Make a Joy Jar
Write love and affirming words and short notes to yourself
Fold and place them in the jar
Place in a common area for you to see. Open when needed
Have a Soup Swap with friends.
Everyone who joins makes a soup
Freeze in freezer-friendly containers (Check these out: https://amzn.to/4bpIuNa)
Make recipe cards to share
Pick a date to gather with your soups and swap.
Enjoy a variety of new soups without the work of making them all.
If I've missed great activities or tips for the fall, please share below for other readers to see.
Thank You
If you've made it this far, thank you! Seriously. ❤️
I hope something I shared gave you a little encouragement, a new perspective, or something to carry with you on your own journey.
One thing life keeps teaching me is that we don't get our time back. So please, don't spend yours pretending to be someone you're not, shrinking yourself, or waiting for permission to enjoy your life.
Show up as YOU. Fully, unapologetically, and even while you're still figuring things out. The people who genuinely love you will love you for who you are.
And please, don't forget to look for the joy! Big joy, little joy, even the “well, at least THAT went right today” kind of joy. 😂 Acknowledge it. Appreciate it. Make room for more of it.
Life is going to keep life-ing, but that doesn't mean we stop living.
You deserve joy. You deserve peace. And you deserve a life that feels good to YOU. 💛
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As always, I welcome your love, encouragement, good vibes, and prayers! 💛 Leave me a comment, send an email, or message me right here if you're subscribed. I love hearing from you!
If you've enjoyed a blog, found something helpful in one of the workbook journals, or simply like what's happening here at The 52 Week Experience, please share it with somebody!
You never know who might need to read these words, answer that journal prompt, or be reminded that joy is still possible.
Every share, recommendation, purchase, and kind word means something to me. And I appreciate every bit of it.
Thank y'all for continuing to show up, support, and grow with me. We've still got so much living and growing to do!
One week at a time! 💛
Until Next Time... #penthepositive
NinaB
xoxo
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